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How to Tweet like Donald Trump

By skillfully (or, perhaps, cluelessly) manipulating Twitter’s allotted 140 characters, Donald Trump has propelled himself into the presidency. Twitter is to Trump what the basketball court is to Lebron James — and you should never take on your opponent on his home court (a lesson that Hillary Clinton learned the hard way in the 2016 election). Trump may have weaseled his way to the top thanks to social media, but he’s not actually that great at using it. So, if you want to beat a master at his own game, learn from his mistakes — here are just a few ways you can use Twitter to make all your dreams come true, just like Trump (and, a few of the fake accounts that are doing it the best). Recognize the trends of his tweets Donald Trump, while typically a loose cannon, is pretty predictable on Twitter. Peeling back his exterior anger, he consistently thanks companies/events that support him, Tweets age-old platitudes (about Democrats’ jealousy, fake news, etc) when under-fire, and repeats his belief that he is, of course, the hugest. When news of James Comey being fired broke, his posts included: And: Those tweets both came two minutes apart from one another. Ten days earlier, he gave us two for the price of one: Another pattern? Trump’s Twitter account is like a werewolf — and every night is a full moon. By day, Trump is mild-mannered enough, but as soon as the sun sets, all bets are off. In the wee hours of the morning, Trump reveals his most intense feelings about the state of the world — or rather, how he feels the world is treating him: When he leans on his trends and his talking points, he is throwing a flash-bang down to distract from the actual discussion on hand, whether it’s his taxes, James Comey, Russia, or whatever the flavor-of-the-week’s controversy is. Like any magician, Trump knows the power of misdirection. Blowback The most important part of Tweeting like Donald Trump is having no ties to the past, no inclination to be consistent when criticizing others for things you do yourself. An angry Tweet about Hillary Clinton and her emails will never be acknowledged, now that he is under criticism for sharing US intelligence with Russia: But months later: Formula, Formula, Formula As many existing Trump satire accounts show, there’s a very cut-and-paste style to how Trump formats his Tweets. His Twitter is a character with a distinct personality, whose mannerisms can be imitated, and the satiric Trump accounts that are now jabbering away on Twitter are milking it for all it’s worth. They’ve shown that to draft a Trump-ish tweet you need to:
  1. Capitalize where no capitalization has gone before.
Here’s a Trump one: From the parody account Dungeons and Donalds (@DungeonsDonalds): Capitalization makes it easy to understand what to take away. In Trump’s tweet he’s emphasizing word “Pretend.” Well, no one likes pretending; they want honesty. By emphasizing the word “Pretend,” Trump is telling his followers he will be the opposite of fake, like the news.
  1. And speaking of fake news…
From the U.S President: From Emperor Trumpatine (@RealTrumpatine): Reference it heavily. Never let go. Remember to breathe. By creating a paradigm where he is the only person to speak the truth, and no one is allowed to speak for him but himself, he can get away with saying anything without ramification. He spent two years creating this loophole and is exploiting it to no end.
  1. Make (Insert Theme) Great Again
It’s always important to remind people of his infamous promise. Trump: Donald Trump, PhD (@ScientistTrump):
  1. Exclamation Points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the 100 most recent tweets of this article, Trump has included 59 exclamation points, four times using multiple exclamation points in one sentence: Donald: Doggie Trump (@RealDoggieTrump) Never think the Donald is calm. The Donald is never calm because the world is a mess. There is no time to be calm.
  1. A single word send-off.
Punch the power of your message home by ending your tweet with just one word. Donnie T: The only tweet ever from Sports Trump (@SportsTrump) Gone but not forgotten. Do all these parody accounts have the desired effect of beating the president at his own game? Because Donald Trump is such an exhausting, loud character, it takes more than just an easy parody to satirize him. Like Michael Caine from Interstellar says: “Do not go gentle.” The most effective satirization of Trump is the most ridiculous; ones that wonder, “how would Donald Trump tweet if he was Lance Armstrong’s Livestrong bracelet?” or imagine “Donald Trump who works at Forever 21.” The accounts that do it best include: @TrumpDraws: @TrumpsTies @TinyTrump And the most poignant, @MatureTrumpTwts: Now, to test our skills, I’ve set up a Twitter account for us all to go ham (no pun intended) on called “Food Critic Trump.” Food Critic Trump loves to eat and is not part of these fake reviews on Yelp. He’s the biggest food critic, let me tell you. Send your Tweets for Food Critic Trump to [email protected]. Columnist Molly Ivans once said that “satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful,” and comedy is one of the greatest weapons against fear. The first step towards getting over a problem, whatever it may be, is to be able to laugh at it — so, Tweet away, and maybe it’ll make you feel just a little bit better about the world.
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