April 7th, 1989. The the day that changed sports movies forever. A film written and directed by David S. Ward (The Sting, Sleepless in Seattle), starring Tom Berenger, a young Charlie Sheen, Dennis Haysbert, Wesley Snipes, James Gammon, Bob Uecker and Corbin Bernsen hit theaters. That film was Major League. It was made for a mere $11 million but grossed nearly $50 million domestically at the box office. But it wasn't about the money or the success. It was all about the quotes. The film deals with the exploits of a fictionalized version of the Cleveland Indians baseball team, who at the time, was at the bottom of Major League Baseball in real life. From the opening credits over top shots of a city some sports fans dub as "The mistake on the lake", Randy Newman's "Burn On" plays. Setting a somber tone for a city who has suffered arguably more than any other when it comes to professional sports with the drought now up to 50 years without a major championship.
The Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, The Pitch. It's as if Cleveland were a magnet for suffering, yet their fans are among the most passionate and supportive despite the hardships. And what could bring a town like this even closer together than one of, if not thee best sports comedy of all-time. And it happens to be about their beloved Cleveland Indians. From the iconic voice of Bob Uecker as Harry Doyle in the booth, to the relationship between a man and his bat, here are 26 of the best quotes from a movie that is now 26 years old to the day. Happy Birthdate Major League!
Harry Doyle
"Vaughn, a juvenile delinquent in the off-season, in his major league debut." "Just a reminder fans about Die Hard Night coming up here in the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant." "Vaughn deals...and Heywood swings and crushes one towards South America. Tomlinson will need a visa to catch this one, it is out of here and there is nothing left but a vapor trail." "Juuuuuust a bit outside, he tried the corner and missed." "He'll need a rocket up his ass to catch that one; that baby's out of here." "This guy threw at his own son in a father son game." "In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few ball games, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar." "Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor."
Willie Mays Hayes
"The American Express Card. Don't steal home without it." "Cerrano's looking for some extra power for tonight. He's looking to sacrifice a live chicken. Hey Jake, man, we can't have people puking in the locker room before the game!" "We should've got the live chicken."
Lou Brown
"Forget about the curve ball, Ricky. Give him the heater!" "Well, you may run like Hayes, but you hit like shit." "C'mon, Dorn! Get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this '¡Olé!' bullshit!" "Alright, Vaughn. They tell us you're a pitcher; you're sure not much of a dresser. We wear caps and sleeves at this level, son! Understood?" "Forget about the curve ball Ricky, give him the heater!"
Eddie Harris
"Up your butt, Jobu." "Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?" "Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill."
Pedro Cerrano
"Hats for bats, keep bats warm." "Jobu... I go to you. I stick up for you. And you no help me now... I say fuck you Jobu. I do it myself." "Is very bad to steal Jobu's rum... Is very bad."
Roger Dorn
"Let's cut through the crap, Vaughn. I only got one thing to say to you: "Strike this mother fucker out." "It was out of my reach. What did you want me to do, dive for it?" "Look here, Lou. My contract clearly states I don't have to do any calisthenics that I don't feel are necessary. So what do you think about that?"
Jake Taylor
"Hey, Rexman! Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, you guys trailing by one in the ninth. You got a chance to be a hero on national television... if you don't blow it. By the way, I saw your wife at the Capri Lounge last night. Hell of a dancer. You must be very very proud. Oh, and that guy she was with? Oh, i'm sure he's a close personal friend and all, but tell me, what was he doing wearing her panties on his head? [Rexman pops the ball straight up] Uh-oh, Rexy I don't think this one's got the distance."